Music

I have my own theories about music and how to get our children to enjoy it. It seems that many parents start their children in music lessons then force them to continue and to practice. I think music should not be attempted without enjoyment. Music is meant to bring peace and joy, not misery. And when we force it on others it brings misery to both parties.

Here is my theory. Some people need music and profit from it more than others. In my family growing up, music was a central thing in our lives. I used to feel guilty that we don't focus on music as much now that I have my own family, but then I read something that changed my mind. I don't remember the exact quote, but in the book Unschooling Rules the author said that because we enjoy something doesn't make it a need for the next generation. He also said that something that is good for one generation is not necessarily what the other generation needs. That was such a freeing idea! Just because something was needed, essential, or even present in my childhood doesn't mean it is needed or should be present with my children.

Going back to music now, for the children that need music we have instruments available to them. Let them see and touch them. Let them have their own instrument they can play with. It doesn't even matter if they do it correctly, just let them have at it. The second part of the formula is to play beautiful music. If you don't play an instrument, play a CD. Take them to concerts. Eventually they will realize that they can make beautiful sounds from the instrument, and they will have that desire. Then maybe you get them lessons, or maybe you just get them a book to teach themselves. If they want it bad enough they will start teaching themselves.

That is how I learned to play the piano. My dad may have given me a few lessons to start, but mostly we just had some lesson books available and I used them to teach myself. I loved the piano. It was where I went to vent my frustrations and bring equilibrium to my soul. I love to play the piano, and I think it is because I wasn't forced to play. It is also because it was something I needed. Perhaps I don't need it as much now--I definitely don't play as much as I used to.

After a child shows a genuine interest in an instrument and a willingness to put effort into learning how to play, then you get them lessons from a good teacher. You will then know you aren't wasting money on the lessons so you can pay a little more. And if they say they don't want to play anymore or stop practicing (because sometimes we need things like music and then we stop needing them anymore) then don't force it on them. Maybe they will pick it up again later, maybe they won't. But why waste the time on something they don't need? And who better to know what they need than themselves?